Male Matters Author
GENDER VIOLENCE
...It Makes Some Feminists Want a World Without Men...
...But what about women's violence? If feminists (and the media) don't take women's violence seriously, why should men take women's opinions seriously? After all, according to ideological feminists' own definition of hate crimes, violence is merely an opinion acted out, a view expressed by behavior.
Sexual Harassment
"With this I will manipulate your little male brain." But all power carries a price tag.
WHY SO FEW MEN PROTEST ANTI-MALE SEXISM (Or: Why Men Fear Women)
"This country is in trouble because men have given up the debate. Women say such things as 'Women are more spiritually evolved,' and men just nod...." -HBO's Bill Maher on YouTube
"When you make fun of a white, Anglo-Saxon male, husband, dad, you don't get a single letter of omplaint." -Terry O'Reilly of Pirate Toronto, a leading audio advertising firm
While many ideological feminists talk about male conspiracies to silence women, the truth is that male apathy conspires to silence men. -Male Matters
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FAR too many men tolerate anti-male sexism because they are:
· Socialized to repress their feelings about personal matters the way women have been socialized to repress their feelings about sexual matters, and hence are often as uncomfortable talking about gender issues as women have been talking about pornography!
· Fearful of being the first to speak up and being scorned with: “Why are you the only one having a problem with this?” (Probably most men are socialized to fear being told they have a problem -- with anything; they especially fear being told they have a problem with fear! A là Betty Friedman, I have named this fear “the problem with no name,” a topic worthy of a book-length discourse itself.)
· Silenced by the chivalrous fear of upsetting women, whom men are supposed to simultaneously see as capable of handling the violence of hand-to-hand combat with enemy soldiers but incapable of handling men’s mere words. Radical feminist ideology wants us to believe women can cope with death-threatening revilement – “Die, slut!” – from an enraged enemy soldier on the battlefield, but that women cannot cope with a good-intentioned compliment – “Hi, gorgeous!” – from an effervescent man in the workplace.
· Silenced by seeing themselves as protectors of women. Many men, especially feminist men, want to be known as protectors of women (often to earn female approval or female votes). Since such chivalrous men are sometimes willing to sacrifice their lives for women, many can certainly be counted on to sacrifice their rights for women.
· Silenced by a political correctness that is hostile and censorious to non-feminist views on gender, particularly to such views offered by men.
· Silenced by the mistaken belief that all feminists work in the interest of both sexes and for the good of the country, and that to be against feminists is to be against women. And to be "against women" (to be against women's gender views, etc.) may mean, for a man, to make people suspect he is homosexual, or that he is not a masculine man.
· Taught by feminists and the media, in a sleight-of-hand manner, to see only female burdens and male power, taught even to see male powerlessness as male power. (The military conscription of men is presented as male power, not the male powerlessness that it is. So is having to work long hours in an oppressive job in order to support a family.)
Perhaps yet another reason men tolerate antimale bias, as a friend reminded me, is to avoid being 
pissed off: My friend refuses to read my blog for that reason. He says he wants to be happy, not angry. He prefers to not get involved in "all that gender crap," preferring instead, I suppose, to keep his head in the sand, maybe hoping it will all blow over some day.
Often, when a man complains about antimale sexism, many people, especially ideological feminists, try to shut him down. They remind him that most of the wealthy, etc., are men, as if no individual man has a right to complain regardless of how bad off he is. But when a woman complains about female bashing, no one tries to shut her down by saying that virtually every wealthy man has a wife who is far freer and less oppressed than he is, and that women control 60 percent of the nation's wealth and 80 percent of the spending.
All this may explain why no large men's movement exists to counter the antimale sexism.
[The list above is from The Untold Side To the Gender Story. As usual, by "feminists" I mean both female and male ideological feminists, not the feminists like Reason magazine's Cathy Young, who writes about the burdens and responsibilities of both sexes.]
Thank you for posting this. Just a few weeks ago, I signed onto
'askmen.com' under the name 'PerAmnesia' to post that I am sick of dealing
with American women. Half of the men agreed with me. The European women
agreed and gave the reasons why they believe American women are
insufferable, but about 3-4 men got on not to attack my message, but to
attack me as a person. So I'd like to add one more to your list:
Hey here is the website to the garbage generation. Gives more insight than
I ever could and its understandable for learned men. Ladies should try and
get their husbands to explain it at the house!!!
It's not women you have to worry about,in the short term anyway,since the
beginning of time men have always been at each others throats for the
attention of women and if as ,like some men ,you are in a powerful position
to do damage then you will do so.These men have little to fear"yet"as women
need them and suck up to them.
I want to understand mens issues. I want to be sympathetic to all people.
But you guys have to understand the anxiety women go through on a daily
basis. I am constantly being sexually harassed. I appreciate complements to
a point. But, it can get uncomfortable when men are overly enthusiastic. Us
girls usually leave our home fearful of male predators. Most of my female
friends have been sexually abused. One out of three women in the country
has been assaulted or raped. So when a man at my place of work is overly
complementary I get nervous if I don't know him very well. And a lot of
women are just upset by the fact that men are and have been for so long so
domineering over women. I feel for the nice sensitive guys who are innocent
and respect women. But I have found through my experience in life that most
men I come across are arrogant pigs. I wish they were all intelligent and
kind like my father is.
Brenna, thanks for the opportunity to respond to what you as a feminist
(you speak exactly like one) no doubt think is your clever attempt to turn
readers off to Male Matters.
Jerry,
Wow, bro, don't know how I got to this point, but...I think you may have
been just a bit too hard on Brenna. Believe me I never thought I'd say
this, but here is a lady willing to reach out her hand and heart to say
what's in it. I think we should be very grateful. In summary and greatest
respect, Jerry, I believe you just wanted to set record straight and keep
focus. Brenna, thanks. As a male, I never understood hurting a lady, up
until the early 1990's, when my heart was stolen by women's actions. My
respect for women emptied into such a hole. My heart hurt, my brain hurt,
my trust disappeared with women's stated opinions and laughter. I had no
desire to protect or help women, accidently being grumpy with my kind wife.
It’s as though I were raped by women and even men, all who could not stand
up for doing the right thing – that much have I been hurt, watching America
go downhill. The right thing became so twisted, that judges who watched
right and wrong and society devolve on television could no longer make
judgments themselves regarding right or wrong. With my emotions barely held
together over the years, regarding my belief in women, I now hold to
wanting to give more respect than men or women show for themselves. People
do not know of the good in which their capable. I tell my two sons, that
girls/women may represent themselves with less respectful actions (dress,
porn, words, actions) but they don't know it's not required. Teach the
girl, if possible, it’s not required. They’re often looking for love, as
well as truly not being taught common sense or anything else from their
fathers (hurting and absent) and mothers (hurting, with lost respect for
themselves but demanding it be shown anyways). Where can we start over?
God bless you all.
Jerry Boggs explains well why most men tolerate feminist misandry. Allow
me to add a few issues.
Re:Re: "I am constantly being sexually harassed." A man could say, "I am
constantly being ignored, sexually or otherwise. To get a woman's
attention, I have to risk her rejection, even scorn." See my commentary
"The Sexual Harassment Quagmire: How To Dig Out" at http://battlinbog.blog-
city.com/the_sexual_harassment_quagmire_digging_out_with_true_equali.htm.
This explains in detail how the sexes' unequal initiative-taking is
responsible for most of what is called "sexual harassment."
I enjoyed your post and can especially relate to your friend who doesn't
read your blog because he doesn't want to feel "pissed off". That was me
until a couple of weeks ago when I said "enough is enough".
A Bold New Look at the Sexes
Roy F. Baumeister: Is There Anything Good About Men? (He has it right, mostly!)
He's going round and round because she's going round and round, and she's going round and round because....
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